Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear went on HBO's "Real Time" on Friday and solved California's energy crisis in one sentence. It was a short sentence. That should have been the first clue.

California Republican gubernatorial nominee Steve Hilton said diesel in California is "$9," and blamed "Democrat policies here." Beshear asked whether it was "because of the war in Iran." Hilton said, "It's both."

Then Beshear delivered the verdict. "One year ago, the price of diesel was less than half what it is right now. Donald Trump and Donald Trump alone has caused that increase, and anybody who supports him is responsible for it too."

Donald Trump alone. Not the war Beshear himself had brought up thirty seconds earlier. Not the refineries. Just one man, apparently out back with a hose, personally siphoning every tank between Redding and San Diego.

Now, I know what you're thinking, reader. You're thinking Beshear is wrong. Of course he's wrong. But you're also wrong, because you think this was about diesel.

Hilton laid out his case. He said California sits on "abundant oil reserves" that are "being shut down," that the state now imports "80% of the oil that we use on giant supertankers," and that because refineries have closed, it's importing refined gasoline, with India as the top supplier. India, he noted, buys crude from Russia.

So the state that banned the gas car is buying gas from the guy who invaded Ukraine, with a layover in Mumbai. That's not an energy policy. That's a money-laundering scheme with a Prius sticker.

Beshear heard all of that and decided the only variable worth mentioning lives in Washington. Pick the cause that polls well, then convict anyone who disagrees as an accessory. Half the country just got charged with diesel.

Here's where I part ways with everybody else on the right, too. You think Beshear was defending California. He wasn't. A Kentucky governor doesn't go on a Los Angeles talk show to protect Sacramento. He goes there to audition for a 2028 primary electorate that lives in Los Angeles. Nobody in Frankfort watches "Real Time." Plenty of donors in Brentwood do.

And the trucker in Fresno paying for a fill-up at $9 a gallon didn't get a seat on that panel. He got the bill. A big rig tank runs 150 gallons, which at Hilton's price is $1,350 every time the guy wants to keep groceries moving. That's not a fill-up. That's a mortgage payment with mud flaps.

The beauty of "Donald Trump alone" is that it requires nobody in California to change anything. Not the governor, not the Legislature, not the regulators who watched the refineries close and called it progress. They're all cleared. Case dismissed, by a judge whose own state doesn't have the problem.

So, final ruling from this desk. Hilton blamed Democrats and the war. Beshear blamed one man. The truckers blame everyone in that studio. And the diesel, still $9, blames nobody, because it's the only thing in the conversation that showed up with its real price on it.

But don't worry. Beshear found the culprit in one sentence. California just has to pay for the rest of the paragraph.

This article is satire. The Demorat is a parody news site; real facts are drawn from the linked sources, and jokes, invented scenes, and fictional characters are not real.

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