I'm going to say something nobody in this fight wants to hear. James Carville is right. He's just right about himself.
On Sunday, Rep. Haley Stevens, the Michigan Democrat who lost the August Senate primary to Abdul El-Sayed, endorsed Republican Mike Rogers. She said El-Sayed's campaign had told her she was no longer welcome and should stay away. "I do not stand with Hasan Piker," she added, in a video posted to X.
Within hours, Carville was on YouTube for Politicon, and he did not bring a calm voice. "Your political career is over," he told her. He accused her of trading her soul for a sandwich: "I think El-Sayed offered her one cheeseburger and Rogers offered her two cheeseburgers." Then he informed her that Republicans would view her as "a used condom," and that "the Democrats don't even think you're worth a used condom."
That's the party of civility, folks. Two days before an election, the Democrats' most famous strategist compared a congresswoman to garbage on a podcast. Try that line at a women's leadership luncheon and see how long you keep your lanyard.
But here's where I lose all of you.
Stephen Kent of the Consumer Choice Center told Fox News that Carville said just two weeks ago he'd rather Republicans win the House by five seats than Democrats win it by five, because he feared the party would become "hostages" to the Democratic Socialists of America. Kent also said Carville announced he didn't want to share a party with Hasan Piker after this election.
Hold on. So Carville wants Republicans to win so he doesn't get stuck with the socialist wing. Stevens endorsed a Republican because she didn't want to get stuck with the socialist wing. They had the exact same thought. One of them said it on a podcast. The other one said it with a ballot.
Carville didn't catch a traitor. He caught his own reflection and yelled at it.
Now, Stevens fans, don't get comfortable. You don't get a medal for leaving a party after it stops returning your calls. If El-Sayed had invited her to the rally, she'd be holding a sign right now. That's not courage. That's a breakup text after you've already been dumped.
And Republicans, settle down. One lost primary candidate endorsing your guy is not a realignment. It's a Sunday.
Meanwhile, the rest of the party did exactly what you'd expect. Chuck Schumer called the endorsement "a despicable betrayal," Townhall reported. And El-Sayed's campaign hauled in $1.2 million in four hours afterward, according to Newsmax. Nothing unites Democrats like a common enemy who used to be in the group chat.
Let's be clear about what this really shows. The Democratic Party now has two kinds of moderates. The ones who quietly hope they lose, like Carville, and the ones who loudly help them lose, like Stevens. Both are scared of the same people. Only one of them gets called a used condom for it.
I'll even give Carville his cheeseburger point. If you're going to sell your soul, get a good price. He would know. He's been selling the same Ragin' Cajun act for thirty years and still gets booked every Sunday.
So yes, James Carville is right. Haley Stevens shouldn't have crossed the aisle for a cheeseburger. She should have waited two weeks and just said she was rooting for Republicans on a podcast, like a real Democrat.
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The Demorat is a satire publication. This article is parody and commentary based on real news reports; jokes, exaggerations and fictional elements are not factual claims. Quotes attributed to real people are drawn from published reporting.
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