WASHINGTON — Democrats running on the price of eggs revealed Sunday what they plan to do first if voters hand them the House, and it isn't eggs. It's Pete Hegseth.
Rep. Jason Crow of Colorado told CBS's "Face the Nation" that removing the Defense Secretary is his top job if his party wins on Nov. 3. "Pete Hegseth remains incompetent and is not doing what's necessary to protect our service members, which is why he's my priority number one if we retake the majority, to make sure we oust him from the Pentagon," Crow said.
Priority number one. Not rent. Not gas. Not the grocery bill. A cabinet secretary who has never once rung up your groceries.
Crow isn't freelancing. House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries vowed at an Oct. 12 rally to "run Pete Hegseth out of town," according to The Washington Times. The Wall Street Journal reports House Democrats are lining up an impeachment vote as soon as next month, while Republicans still run the chamber, with another try next year if they win.
So the party has a plan to fight inflation. It just involves a subpoena.
Think about the pitch. All year, every Democrat with a ring light has been telling you the economy is crushing you. Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz posted that gas is up more than 34 percent over the last year. Fine. Message received. The cure, apparently, is a hearing.
You're at the pump watching the numbers spin like a slot machine that only takes from you. Somewhere in Washington, a Democrat is drafting articles of impeachment and calling it relief.
Here's the best part. The Journal reports Democratic leaders and candidates in competitive districts have avoided promising a third impeachment of President Trump because it could backfire. So they found a smaller target. Impeachment, but travel size. Same flavor, fewer calories, now available in swing districts.
It's like a guy who swore off drinking showing up to the party with "just" a box of wine.
To be fair to Crow, he did mention a real threat. He was asked about intelligence that Iran has stepped up efforts to target American personnel. He said Iran "remains a danger," then pivoted straight to the guy he wants fired, then to Vladimir Putin, then back to Trump. That's not a national security plan. That's a playlist on shuffle.
And it's not the first draft. Democrats already filed articles of impeachment against Hegseth in April. So the "priority number one" for 2027 is a rerun of a show from this spring that got canceled after one episode.
Hollywood calls that a reboot. Voters call it "where's my rent money."
None of this means Hegseth is above criticism. Every Defense Secretary eats it, and plenty of them deserve it. But when a party says the country is in a cost-of-living emergency and its first move is a personnel change at the Pentagon, it is telling you exactly where you rank.
You're priority number two. Maybe three. Somewhere behind the subpoenas and just ahead of the parking validation.
So when the ads tell you Democrats will fight for your family's budget, believe them. They'll fight for it right after they finish firing Pete Hegseth, right after the hearings, right after the press conference about the hearings.
The egg carton can wait. It's been waiting since Biden.
This article is satire. The Demorat is a parody news site; real facts are drawn from the linked sources, and jokes, invented scenes, and fictional characters are not real.
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