House Democrats have introduced a resolution opposing a bailout that nobody has requested, for a crash that hasn't happened, using a vote that wouldn't be binding even if it passed. Wallet Walsh has run the numbers on this one, and the total cost so far is zero dollars, which is the most fiscally responsible thing Congress has done all year.
The facts. On Oct. 28, Congressional Progressive Caucus Chair Rep. Greg Casar of Texas and Rep. Maxine Waters of California, the top Democrat on the House Financial Services Committee, introduced a "sense of the House" resolution, as reported by The American Prospect and in the lawmakers' own press releases. It opposes any taxpayer rescue of artificial intelligence companies or lenders that go insolvent if an AI bubble pops.
Fine. Opposing bailouts is a position plenty of Republicans have held since 2008, mostly while being yelled at.
Now read the second half, because that's where the money is.
The resolution doesn't stop at "no bailout." It calls instead for federal spending to create jobs and prop up state and local services, plus unemployment insurance, nutrition support and housing assistance, and automatic stabilizers, the kind of spending that switches on by itself the moment the economy dips.
So let me do the accounting. Under this plan, if the AI bubble pops, the government will not spend money on the companies. It will spend money on everything else. That's not opposing a bailout. That's changing the shipping address.
Waters said in announcing it, "The American people should never again be forced to foot the bill for billionaires' reckless bets." Agreed. Wallet Walsh would simply note that the American people foot the bill for federal spending too. The invoice just comes addressed to "Taxpayer" instead of "Bailout," like a utility company that renames the late fee a "convenience charge."
The resolution also wants executives behind any reckless or unlawful collapse to return their mansions, vacation homes, private planes and yachts. That's a satisfying list. It's also the first time a congressional document has read like the description of a repo-man reality show.
For scale. The national debt is over $40 trillion. Gas, by one recent national count, is around $4.20 a gallon. A family that wants to fill a 15-gallon tank twice a week is spending about $126 a week, with no resolution, binding or otherwise, coming to rescue it.
And the timing. Casar says he wants a vote early in the next Congress if Democrats take the House, or sooner if possible. So the plan is to win the election Tuesday, then stand on the House floor and formally declare that, in the event of a hypothetical crash, the government's position will be to spend a great deal of money, just not on that.
To be fair, it does balance. The cost of the resolution today is zero. The cost of the resolution the day it matters is unspecified. And somewhere between zero and unspecified is the entire history of federal budgeting.
So congratulations to House Democrats on a bold stand against a bailout no one has asked for. Wallet Walsh will be filing it under "free," right next to every other government program that started out costing zero dollars.
The Demorat is a satire publication. This article is a comedy roast built on real reported events; jokes, exaggerations and fictional characters are not real news.
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