JB Pritzker has a warning for America about rigged elections, and he would know. He signed one.
On Sunday's "Meet the Press," NBC's Kristen Welker played the Illinois governor his own words from a September 9 news conference in Dallas: "If Democrats don't win, if they don't win in this election, we may not have other elections. Or certainly we're going to have future elections, every single one of which will be rigged."
Welker asked the obvious question. Are elections only fair when Democrats win?
"No, the implication here is that Donald Trump is trying to rig these elections," Pritzker said. If that happens, he warned, Republican majorities will be "making sure that Democrats really don't have a chance in so many places across the country."
Democrats not having a chance in so many places. Somewhere in downstate Illinois, a Republican just laughed so hard he spilled his coffee on a ballot that doesn't matter.
Let's talk about Illinois. In 2021, Pritzker signed a congressional map projected to deliver 14 seats to Democrats and three to Republicans, in a state where Trump pulled roughly 44 percent of the vote in 2024. The Princeton Gerrymandering Project graded that map an F. Not a C-minus. Not "needs improvement." An F, the grade you get for showing up late and setting the classroom on fire.
That's the guy pulling the fire alarm.
It gets better. On the same show, Pritzker brought up redistricting all by himself. "Look at what happened in Texas. Look at how California had to respond. Indiana almost redistricted. We threatened in Illinois that we would if they did."
So rigging is a grave threat to democracy, and also Illinois offered to do more of it. That's not a defense. That's a confession with a press office.
Then came the reassurance: "We Democrats don't stand against the idea of counting all the votes." Nobody said you did, JB. Counting the votes is easy when you've already drawn where they land. It's like a casino bragging that it lets everybody keep score.
Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich told Newsmax that Pritzker worrying about Republicans rigging elections is "profoundly breathtaking in its hypocrisy." When Blago is the one blowing the ethics whistle, the game was over at kickoff.
Here's the part that should bug you no matter where you vote. For four years you were told that doubting an election result was a threat to democracy itself. Now a two-term governor and possible 2028 candidate is telling you, before a single vote is counted Tuesday, that a Republican win would mean the election was stolen.
That's a tidy system. If Democrats win, democracy worked. If Democrats lose, democracy was murdered. Heads he wins, tails you're the threat.
The rules didn't change. The guy holding the rulebook did, and he's got a billion-dollar family fortune and a lot of free time in 2028.
So let's keep score honestly. The man warning you about rigged maps signed a map that flunked. The man warning you about stolen elections has already announced which results count. And the man calling it hypocrisy is Rod Blagojevich.
So yes, JB Pritzker is right about one thing. Rigged elections are a real danger to this country. He's got the signed copy to prove it.
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The Demorat is a satire publication. This article is parody and commentary based on real news reports; jokes, exaggerations and fictional elements are not factual claims. Quotes attributed to real people are drawn from published reporting.
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