Democratic candidates in the country's tightest races have made a bold discovery with six days left before the midterms: the border under Joe Biden was bad.

Brave stuff. Truly. Next week they'll reveal water is wet, and the week after that, Biden is old.

NBC News reported this week that Democrats from Texas to Iowa to Pennsylvania are now throwing the former president under the bus on border security. The bus, for the record, has been idling in the driveway since 2023. They just finally found the keys.

Start in Texas. Senate nominee James Talarico is running an ad in the closing stretch of his race against Republican Ken Paxton. The line: "I called out Joe Biden for failing us on the border."

Called him out. When? Where? Was it a group text? Did Biden see it? Nobody knows. It's the political version of yelling at the TV after the game ends.

Then Kansas. Democratic Senate candidate Adam Hamilton told a debate audience, "Immigration at the border under Biden was a disaster." Clear. Direct. Delivered roughly two years after anyone could do anything about it. That's not courage. That's a weather report for last Tuesday.

In Pennsylvania, House candidate Paige Cognetti went full confession booth at a Thursday debate. "The Biden administration failed at the border," she said, then added that "it's a good thing" the border is secure now. So the plan is simple. Blame the last guy for the mess. Thank the current guy for the cleanup. Ask voters to hire the party that made the mess.

In South Carolina, Senate candidate Annie Andrews said in a debate, "Democrats have failed on the border." Not Biden. Democrats. Plural. She's running as one.

The gold medal goes to Iowa. Senate candidate Josh Turek traveled more than 800 miles to Laredo, Texas, to film a campaign ad promising tougher enforcement. Eight hundred miles. For four years his party couldn't find the border with a map, a flashlight and a Border Patrol escort. Turek found it in time for a 30-second spot. That's not a policy. That's a location scout.

Democratic pollster Celinda Lake told NBC that distancing from Biden is "very smart." She's right. It's the smartest move available when the alternative is defending it.

Here's the part they skip. You lived through those years. You saw the crossings on the news every night. You heard the same people tell you it was a "manufactured crisis," that the border was "secure," that you were the problem for noticing. Now they'd like credit for noticing too. Late. With a camera crew.

This is the political equivalent of the guy who rear-ends you, gets out of his car, and says, "Wow, somebody really should do something about this dent." Then hands you a flyer asking for your vote.

Every one of these candidates belongs to the party that spent years calling the border fine. Now they want you to believe they were secretly furious the whole time. Silently. Professionally. In a way that left no record.

So the Democratic closing message has arrived, and it fits on a bumper sticker: "We also hated what we did."

Biden has not commented. Which, to be fair, is the one border policy his party never had a problem with.

Six days out, and the bus is finally moving. They're all on it. Driving.

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The Demorat is a satire publication. This article is parody and commentary based on real news reports; jokes, exaggerations and fictional elements are not factual claims. Quotes attributed to real people are drawn from published reporting.

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