Somewhere a career counselor at the University of Chicago is updating the job board. Next to "Trump administration, entry-level," there's a new note in red ink: "See Sen. Slotkin first."

Let me caw about this one.

On Oct. 13, at a University of Chicago event recorded for a Vox podcast, Sen. Elissa Slotkin of Michigan said Democrats should pursue "signature cases" against "the people who enabled" President Trump, not just the president himself. Then, according to Fox News and WECU News, she explained the goal: "I want young people coming out of school to say, should I go work for the Trump administration? Like, that sounds fun, I might get an opportunity. I want them to be like, Lord, that might be buying myself a ton of problems that I don't want." She wanted, in her words, a "deterrence message."

Now, I'm a crow. I'm contrarian by trade. So let me take Slotkin's side for a moment, the way she'd want me to. In her own defense, she has said she only means people who break the law or misuse taxpayer money, and that the outrage is manufactured. Fine. Accountability for lawbreakers is a perfectly normal idea. It's called the Justice Department, and it already has a building.

But that isn't what she said to a room of students. She didn't say, "Don't break the law." She said she wants a 22-year-old to look at a job offer and think, "Lord." The deterrent isn't the crime. The deterrent is the employer.

Meet Kevin, 22, a made-up political science grad with a lanyard collection. Kevin was going to apply for a junior analyst gig at the Commerce Department. Now he's in his apartment drafting a cover letter that ends, "Please confirm in writing that I won't be a signature case." He also applied at a bank, but only after asking whether the bank has ever enabled anyone.

Here's the twist that should bother Democrats most. For a year, Slotkin's own complaint has been that Trump turned the government against people he doesn't like. She's said that herself, loudly, and with some personal history behind it. Her proposed fix is to make sure the next government can be turned against the people Democrats don't like, starting with the interns. That's not draining the swamp. That's putting it under new management.

A University of Chicago student who first reported the remarks has since filed a Senate ethics complaint, according to Fox News, which the committee will do with whatever committees do. Laura Ingraham called it lawfare. Slotkin called the reaction pearl-clutching. Everyone, in other words, is having a great week except the career office.

The funniest part is the timing. Democrats have spent this cycle begging young voters to believe their party is about hope. Then a Democratic senator stood in front of young people and said the plan is to make public service sound like a ton of problems. That's not a deterrence message. That's a recruiting poster, and the other party is printing it.

This article is satire. The Demorat is a parody news site; real facts are drawn from the linked sources, and jokes, invented scenes, and fictional characters are not real.

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