Down at the diner Thursday, the pie was coconut, the coffee was burnt, and the specials board might as well have said "Democracy, temporarily unavailable, ask your waiter."

Here's the deal, near as I can figure from the Dallas Morning News and USA Today. Texans elected Gina Hinojosa governor on Tuesday, the first Democrat in that chair in decades. Hours later, state Rep. Brian Harrison, a Midlothian Republican, sent Gov. Greg Abbott a letter begging him to call a special session and strip the governor's emergency powers before she is sworn in.

Harrison wrote that Republicans "still control the entirety of the Texas government" and must use "every minute" of the next ten weeks. He warned Hinojosa would "inherit nearly all the powers of a dictator." He started a petition. He wants emergency orders to expire after 30 days without legislative approval, the same idea he filed years ago when Abbott was the one holding the gavel. That bill did not go anywhere then. Funny how the furniture looks different when somebody else is about to sit in it.

Abbott has not publicly answered. His office did not immediately comment. Hinojosa's campaign did not either. Which is how you know everybody is busy measuring the curtains and the escape hatches at the same time.

Now, Stan is a simple man. He believes in locks on doors and brakes on trucks. He also believes that if you spent years telling the town the sheriff needs a bigger badge, you look real silly the morning after the other party wins the star. Abbott used disaster declarations, executive orders and special sessions the way some folks use hot sauce: on everything. Border emergency. Storm emergency. Whatever-else emergency. The tool got sharp. Harrison just noticed the next person gets to hold it.

Under current law, a governor in a declared disaster can issue orders with the force of law and suspend certain regulatory statutes when strict compliance would hinder the response. Renewals stretch. Courts move slow. That was fine when the letterhead said Republican. Suddenly it is a constitutional crisis with a Midlothian return address.

Hinojosa, for her part, campaigned on declaring a "high-cost emergency," suspending gas and diesel taxes and freezing electricity rates. Abbott's team has argued the disaster statute does not let a governor suspend taxes. So one side wants to use the powers. The other side wants to hide them in the attic before the moving truck arrives. Neither side is arguing for smaller government. They're arguing over the remote.

Stan's diner rule: if you build a throne, don't act shocked when the next customer sits down. If Harrison wanted a 30-day fuse on emergency orders, he should have passed it when his own team had the votes and the comfort. Doing it now is not principle. It's rearranging the living room before the new tenants get the keys.

So Texas gets ten weeks of Republicans trying to shrink a job they just lost, while Democrats practice saying "emergency" into a mirror. Pass the pie. This one's going to need more coffee.

The Demorat is a satire publication. This article is parody and commentary based on real news reports; jokes, exaggerations and fictional elements are not factual claims. Quotes attributed to real people are drawn from published reporting.

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